Making Space for Quiet in Your Homeschool

Everyone needs QUIET.

A homeschool functions better when there are opportunities and spaces for quiet - for both parents and children.

In our world of technology, activity, mobility, and opportunity, a quiet home is often an anomaly. Surely there must be something we should be DOING? Surely there is somewhere we should be GOING?

I find it interesting that the thing I thought I would miss most when we started homeschooling (stretches of quiet) is the very thing I found (after I’d been homeschooling a few years) I could cultivate MORE effectively because I had my children under my roof to educate and guide them.

My strategies for creating spaces and times for quiet aren’t revolutionary, but I believe we need to be reminded - and, if you will, be given permission to be quiet.

Rest is good. Quiet is good. Stillness in good.

Don’t believe the lie that being the busiest or most involved family on the block is best. It might just be a sign that you aren’t comfortable with quiet.

All of our souls need quiet for creativity, contemplation, and compassion. We need to be comfortable with who we are and we must be comfortable in our silence.

---

• Have a Homeschool Routine

I was never a scheduled homeschool mom. One of the luxuries of homeschooling was that we didn’t have to be slave to a “schedule”. I did, however, always have a routine.

Because of this routine my children knew that we would read aloud after breakfast, and math came next. They knew that after lunch we would have time to work on one subject, and then at 1:30 (or thereabouts) each day we would have quiet time.

Children crave predictability and routine. They love structure. During those times when our routine was most steady I noticed fewer temper tantrums, more creativity, and increased sanity for ME! I don’t have any scientific data to back it up, but I firmly believe a homeschool routine inspired quiet!

• Make Quiet Time a Priority

I’ve written before about why homeschool mamas need quiet time.

This was a hard and fast time in our home until my youngest was about 8 or 9 years old. Sometimes after lunch the kids would/could nap. Other times they just needed to stay in their rooms and occupy themselves quietly.

Initially, this takes training (and sometimes force!), but it is a gift you can give your children. And then guess what? When kids are having quiet, YOU can have quiet, too. Read a book, organize a cabinet, take a nap - whatever recharges you - make time to do it during quiet time.

• Tame the Technology

This is probably the biggest hurdle to jump, isn’t it?

Even if you put away devices for an official “quiet time”, everyone’s brains are still running on overdrive because of the stimulation they have previously received from devices.

I would suggest to you that you strictly limit the technology in your homeschool. Can you homeschool with little to no technology at all? Or, if you feel that using technology is a skill you want your children to master, choose a few things of beauty that your children take part in online (how about joining me in my SQUILT Music Appreciation classes online?).

• Incorporate the Arts

Our souls are at rest when we have been exposed to things of beauty.

Have you ever done one of Nana’s Chalk Pastel tutorials? She has such a quiet, calm, and simple way of helping children create something of beauty.

What about music? Simply turning on a Spotify Mozart station can create a relaxing atmosphere in your home. Or, incorporating Super Quiet UnInterrupted Listening Time (SQUILT) monthly listening calendars such a simple to daily incorporate music into your life.

A vibrant arts education in your homeschool can help your children be comfortable with quiet - and also enables them to be quiet as they are creating.

• Strew Quiet Toys & Books Through Your Home

I was always a big fan of strewing when my children were younger.

strew (verb): to scatter or spread (things) untidily over a surface or area.

Our children need gentle guidance towards things that inspire quiet.

Keep a stock of games and toys your children can use alone. Make sure you make frequent library visits and strew books about what you are currently studying around the house.

Children can be gently tempted to stop and play, read, and wonder. It is a beautiful thing.

• Get Outside and Wonder (and be LOUD)!

In order to inspire more quiet, you have to provide opportunities for your children to be WILD and LOUD!

Do you remember that homeschool routine you have? Be sure to incorporate a lot of physical activity, nature walks, and time to just be outside and explore! If our children are worn out, happy, and have eliminated a lot of frustrations through physical activity, then making space for quiet, later on, will be infinitely easier.

Don’t forget Nature Study - you might enjoy The 3 Rs of Nature Study if your need EASY ideas.

And, unstructured play outside if good - I routinely told my kids to go outside and play in the woods! I was amazed at how much better our days were when this could be part of the routine.

• The Self-Discipline to Say NO

Finally, we need to get off the hamster wheel. Our children will never be comfortable with quiet if they are too busy and frazzled.

You don’t have to take part in every activity your best homeschool friends take part in. If you don’t feel it is in your family’s best interest for your child to play an organized sport, DON’T DO IT. Saying no may be hard in the moment, but the freedom it brings in the long-term is liberating.

You can start creating space for quiet TODAY in your homeschool. I promise. It’s worth it.

Do you have a way you gain quiet in your homeschool?

Share it with me in the comments below.

You might also like:

Why Watch the Birds?

3 Keys to a Successful Homeschool

Why Do We Homeschool? (The Answer Might Surprise You)

It all started with an invitation to a conversation.

We were at a family wedding. My teens were happily socializing, introducing themselves to others, and having intelligent conversations with those around them. Someone who I’ve known for years (who I also strongly suspect is a homeschool skeptic), approached me thoughtfully.

“Can I ask you some questions about homeschooling?”

(That’s like asking me if the sky is blue.)

What I didn’t expect to come out of our much-lovelier-than-anticipated conversation was a crystal clear understanding (on my part!) of why our family homeschools.

---

The woman I was in conversation with told me she had recently been working with the most respectful, considerate, and responsible 25-year-old man. Somehow in their dealings, it surfaced that he had been homeschooled.

This was the first person she had truly interacted with that had been homeschooled.

Often, people have a negative view of homeschool because they only know the stereotypes, they don’t know the actual people.

She readily admitted to me that his homeschooling background surprised her - and that there must be something to this homeschooling thing after all. She had been looking forward to seeing me at the wedding so she could ask me more.

Right away, I saw this as an opportunity to be a homeschool ambassador, to share our story and hopefully sway opinion in the homeschool direction.

She began asking me a series of questions:

Did I think this young man’s personality traits were directly related to homeschooling?

Yes!

• People that make the sacrifices and commitment to homeschool generally will take the time to train their children in character, discipline, and social graces.

• Homeschooling is a lifestyle that puts our families in contact with other like-minded families. I won’t apologize for that. When our children are in their formative years it is essential they have like-minded peers. Childhood isn’t the time to expose our children to “everything that’s out there”.

How did I locate these other homeschool families?

• It took time to find “our tribe”.

• We initially joined a homeschool co-op, and then became members of a Classical Conversations community. My oldest also attended classes at a local Classical homeschool hybrid school.

• These “searching” experiences and joining new groups were invaluable for my children. They learned to meet new people, try new things, and go outside of their comfort zones.

What about homeschooling high school? How do you teach the “hard” things?

(This is the question I get most these days)

• I don’t homeschool high school alone. There are abundant resources online and also in person.

• One of my children learns most anything on his own - give him a textbook and he teaches himself. I am just the educational guide at this age.

• You can take just about any course you want online. My son takes Spanish through Homeschool Spanish Academy. My daughter took AP classes through Memoria Press Online Academy. Math has been made easier with Mr. D and Shormann Math.

What about getting into college?

And there we have it… the question that people really want to ask first.

How do you tell someone who is so deeply entrenched in higher education that college isn’t the goal? How do you explain that a spirit of lifelong learning and inquiry can be equally as valuable? How do you explain that there are many paths to a college education that don’t involve going away to a traditional 4-year institution?

It dawned on me that we’re so far out of the box with this thing called homeschooling that we can’t even SEE the box anymore… once we gave up the idea of traditional school it changed our thoughts about a lot of other systems and expectations society has that just don’t make sense.

And that’s when I said it —

You know, we don’t homeschool for the academics. We homeschool for their hearts.

What good is it if a person has all the degrees and smarts in the world and doesn’t care to make the world a better place for others? What good is it if they can’t show compassion for their neighbors or show humility?

So many people today lack integrity, compassion, convictions, faith, and motivtion. If I could instill those things in my children through homeschooling then I consider the whole thing a success.

That pretty much ended our conversation. (HA!)

Kudos to them, however, for caring enough to ask and then actually LISTENING. I love that spirit of inquiry and welcomed a healthy conversation about something I care about so deeply.

I would like to think our conversation truly caused this person to contemplate homeschoolers and homeschooling in a different light. I would like to think that maybe her dealings with my children swayed her opinion. I have a feeling that our family might have begun to chip away at a long-held belief about homeschoolers.

Ten years ago I would have cared A LOT about what someone thought.

Fast forward to the present day and I know those affirmations from others (while they are nice to have) don’t matter so much.

What matters are the precious ones I’ve been given to educate, and that I am doing my level best to nurture their hearts and souls. I have to believe that if I put those things first, then the rest will follow.

I wish I would have written down my reasons for homeschooling when we first started - I think academics would have been pretty high on the list. Now that comes last. My conversation at the wedding solidified this belief. I just had to articulate it to someone else - to hear myself say it out loud.

And you know what? It feels good.

What is your reason for homeschooling? Has it changed over time?

Leave me a comment below!

You might also like:

• 25 Reasons to Homeschool

• Homeschool to College