The question I receive most often (now that I’m almost done with our homeschooling journey) usually goes something like this:
“How did you keep going? I’m afraid I won’t have the stamina to keep doing this through high school.”
The first answer I always give is “by the grace of God”. After that I try to remind them that homeschooling is a MARATHON not a sprint. It’s a quippy little statement that sounds good, but when you start to think about it, running a marathon and homeschooling have A LOT in common (not that I would know anything about the marathon, but I can make valid assumptions).
As we explore this marathon metaphor, PLEASE let me encourage you. The fruits you will see as you cross the finish line (and beyond) are amazing. It’s worth it. I know it’s hard to see that when you are deep in the muck with littles, but it is so worth it.
This alliterative marathon metaphor really is perfect for homeschooling. I hope you find the following points helpful and, more importantly, I hope it gives you courage to continue this most important work you are doing.
Now, more than ever, we need mighty homeschoolers - and it’s up to YOU to educate them!
Why are You Doing This?
I’ve never run a marathon, but I am assuming marathon runners are greatly motivated. They have a GOAL.
The same is true for us as homeschoolers. Why are we doing this? Knowing your why (and reminding yourself of it) is crucial to success.
This is one of the best “whys” I’ve heard - I think you’ll love it, too:
We keep them at home to nurture them, to cultivate relationships with them, and to plan the seeds of relationships with other people and their ideas. We keep them at home to equip them to embrace and to shape the world of their Creator. ~ Elizabeth Foss, Real Learning
Homeschooling is not easy. It requires great amounts of courage. If you can always articulate why you are on the journey, it serves as a sort of inner pep talk.
Less is More - Start Slow
You cannot run 26 miles out of the gate, and you can’t have your ideal homeschool immediately, either. (The Couch to 5K app is wildly popular for a reason!)
If you are a new homeschooler, remember Rome wasn’t built in a day. Start slow.
As you and your children learn to do a few things well, add other subjects one at a time.
Add the most important rocks first - usually, people start with math and reading. I might also suggest an outdoor nature study - it will just add fun and boost morale.
As you and your children learn to do a few things well, add other subjects one at a time.
Find Coaches, Partners, & Cheerleaders
Seek parents ahead of you on the journey. Seek parents in the same spot as you on the journey. And - this is very important - seek people NOT homeschooling (but who know you well and support you) to be your cheerleaders.
( In the same spirit, you may need to place some distance between you and people who do not agree with your homeschooling decision. )
In our current climate, it is difficult to find in-person accountability partners - to truly assemble your team.
When life returns to a semblance of normal, be sure to join a local homeschool group. Do you have any homeschooling parents at your church you can befriend?
I had a dear friend who went on a nature walk with my daughter and me when we first started homeschooling. I appreciated the friendship. She also took an interest in my daughter and taught her as we were walking. This friend was not a homeschooling mom, but she was a supporter of our homeschooling endeavor.
Have a Plan (but be flexible)
Just as you would have a training plan for a marathon, you need a PLAN for your homeschool.
Are you setting goals each year? Do you know what you would like your children to accomplish - do your CHILDREN know what you would like them to accomplish?
This plan will guide your instruction and give you a feeling of “legitimacy” that homeschool parents tell me they crave.
Once you have created the plan, however, realize that “life” gets in the way - one of the biggest benefits of homeschooling is flexibility. If something isn’t working you can change course.
A plan allows for CONSISTENCY, which I believe is crucial to completing the homeschool marathon!
Celebrate YOUR Accomplishments - Ditch the Comparison
Remember to reward yourself and your children for accomplishments along the way. (You wouldn’t compare yourself to an Olympic runner, would you?)
If your child masters a difficult spelling list, put a big sticker on their paper and display for the family to see! Take your child out for a milkshake as they cement their times tables.
Keep a reading log throughout the year and when you reach your goal, have a family celebration.
You get the idea.
Sometimes I would keep pushing through homeschool (me and my high expectations!), forgetting to compliment and reward my children along the way. There is no surer route to discouragement than this.
Additionally, please resist the urge to compare your homeschool to anyone else’s - stay in your own lane!
Take Breaks
You wouldn’t continue training for a marathon if you had the flu, right? Why do trudge through homeschooling when we know something isn’t working or when we have clearly used up our energy reserves?
It’s perfectly acceptable to take a few days off. EVERYONE needs a break to regroup and catch their breath - to regain strength and motivation.
Homeschooling is difficult, and if we don’t acknowledge the fact that we need to take breaks we will surely burn out.
Every Part is Different
Some parts of the homeschool journey will be flat and easy - but there will also be hills that you feel you simply cannot climb, too.
Acknowledge this. If something is hard, let it be hard, with the knowledge that easier times will be coming (and a celebration after the hard!).
For me, homeschool middle school with one of my children was particularly difficult. It nearly made me quit homeschooling. I am so glad I had a support system in place and could be reminded by moms ahead of me it wasn’t always going to be like this.
My mother’s favorite saying - “Everything will look better in the morning!” really IS true. (Maybe it’s not the very next morning - it might not be until the following month or even year.)
No Pain, No Gain?
I’ve always disliked this statement, but many times in homeschooling (as with all of life), the most difficult moments are the most refining.
That struggle you’re going through with your middle grades girl? It will teach you a thing or two about patience, grace, and unconditional love. The tears your child breaks into as you lose your temper while trying to explain long division? That will teach you that relationship matters more than any academic concept - every single time.
Homeschooling (and really parenting!) children refines us in ways we didn’t even realize we needed refining. The very act of raising children causes us to slow down and speed up all at the same time, teaching us so many valuable lessons along the way.
